Pull the Trigger
by Authoressinhiding
Summary: Faith's thoughts as she battles Angelus.  Set in "Release", oneshot, songfic.


**A/N: This is my first ever songfic, so please refrain from eating my soul.**

**Disclaimer: Rihanna and Joss Whedon own all. But not together. There is no collaborative owning here. Although a Rihanna/JW collaboration would be very interesting...**

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_Take a breath, take it deep._

_Calm yourself, he says to me_.

It was a good idea. Faith knew that, somewhere in her head. But her gut had some serious doubts.

_If you play, you play for keeps._

_Take the gun,_

_And count to three_.

Three shots. Wes had told her there would be risk. It might not work. Was she really in the game? Now was the time to prove it. He had three shots. There went one, then another. Now. When Angelus was distracted. Faith grappled for the hypodermic in her boot and shot up. Disgusting. Stupid. But maybe, maybe, it had a chance of working. Wesley fired his third shot.

_I'm sweating now, moving slow._

_No time to think. My turn to go_.

Angelus threw Wes off the railing. He had the gun. Time to move it. Faith jumped up, ready for battle.

_And you can see my heart beating_

_You can see it through my chest_

_Said I'm terrified, but I'm not leaving._

_So just pull the trigger._

"Uh oh! Vampire with a gun!"

Faith didn't know where her weapon had gone. She knelt on the floor in front of what had once been her friend, panting and terrified.

"Do you still want to die?" he mocked cruelly.

"No," she whispered in humiliation.

"What's that?"

"No."

"I can't hear you."

"NO!"

Angelus unloaded the shotgun. Faith flinched with each click. The vampire smirked. "Too bad. 'Cause you're going to. Just not like this."

Faith kicked the gun out of his hands and leapt to her feet.

_Say a prayer to yourself._

_He says, "Close your eyes. Sometimes it helps."_

Lying on the ground. Each blow hurt like hell. She was definitely out of shape. Blood dripped onto the floor. Screw her later, would he? Faith had absolutely no intention of letting _that_ happen.

_And then I get a scary thought_

_That he's here means he's never lost_.

Where had he gone? He better not be attacking Wesley again.

_Stay down, Wes,_ Faith pleaded silently. She revolved on the spot, looking up in search of Angelus. _Come out and get me, vampire. You think you can handle this? Prove it._

_And you can see my heart beating_

_You can see it through my chest_

_Said I'm terrified, but I'm not leaving._

_Know that I must pass this test._

_So just pull the trigger._

If there weren't so much at stake in this fight (no pun intended), it would be exhilarating. As it was, Faith's adrenaline level was reaching dangerous proportions. She had Angelus on the ground and punched him in the face, again and again.

Faith stepped back, breathing heavily. "You're wrong," she said with an air of finality. "I'm different now. I'm not like you." Suddenly Angelus caught her leg and jerked her down.

_As my life flashes before my eyes_

_I'm wondering will I ever see another sunrise?_

Angelus had her now, his arms wrapped around her waist, pinning her against his chest.

_So many won't get the chance to say goodbye_

_But it's too late to think of the value of my life_.

"You will be."

The most horrible words Faith had heard in her life – and that was saying something. Helpless, she could not resist as his fangs pierced her neck. She felt the blood leaving her as Angelus sucked it away greedily. This was so gross.

Buffy, Willow, Xander, Cordy, Giles. Would anyone remember her? If this went wrong, did Wesley stand a chance? Was there any way he would escape an Angelus who had just fed?

_And you can see my heart beating_

_You can see it through my chest_

_Said I'm terrified, but I'm not leaving_

_Know that I must pass this test._

This was sick. A terrible idea. How much longer did she have to do this? Would the drug ever kick in? Faith couldn't escape now if she wanted to. Angelus held her so tightly the Slayer couldn't even wriggle. She could feel his triumph as he drank. If the drug didn't take action soon, she was going to die.

_Please, God,_ Faith prayed in desperation. _Please let this be over_.

_And you can see my heart beating._

_You can see it through my chest._

_Said I'm terrified, but I'm not leaving_

_Know that I must pass this test._

_So just pull the trigger . . ._

_Fin_

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_**Review?**


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